For a while creating comics had become very difficult for me. I was so into the process that I would worry about every tiny aspect of what I was doing.
It became a drag. I didn't look forward to creating them anymore. I liked the ideas I was coming up with but I didn't enjoy the process. It had become a burden.
A year or so ago I started trying different things to speed up my process. Working smarter rather than harder on pages and working more towards the final image rather than focusing on what got me there.
I felt liberated.
I started cranking out more work and I felt like the work had more of an edge to it. Some of the grittiness was peaking through and I liked the feel of it.
The farther I went the more I started to add to what I was doing. More color. More detail. More thought.
Little did I know but I was slowly circling back to where I'd been before. I was over thinking my work again. Massaging every aspect of it and stealing the life from the work.
I'm finding that the older I get the more I question my natural instincts. Which is a good thing because I'm finding that sometimes my instincts are pushing me in the same direction over and over again. By questioning those feelings I'm discovering new solutions and new ways to express my ideas. On the other hand I built my whole artistic foundation on those instincts and now I feel like I'm flying blind sometimes. I don't have a net under me and that can be a source of anxiety.
So here I am having a artistic mid life crisis. I'm happy, I'm sad, confused and excited. All I know is that I'm at a crossroads just like when I started. Looking forward to seeing where this new road takes me.