Friday, August 26, 2005

Comicbook Sucka.

So there is this comic store next to my job.

It’s got a great location and a decent selection.

The place is very crowded.

I often feel like I’m in the comic version of “Das Boot”.

It’s all good except for the feeling if there was an earthquake you might get suffocated under a pile of unsold Transformers and 50 cent comics.

It's for the most part an ok shop…that is..if you don't pay attention to the bastard that runs it.

He is the stereotypical comic clerk that makes the comic guy on Simpsons look like the employee of the month.

I don't hate on comic clerks. I worked as one through my teenage years.

It can be a tough gig...some of the comic customers can be "eccentric" to say the least.

That being said...customer service is still in order.

Back to the bastard's store.

The very fist time I was in there. I picked up an issue of the Star Wars Episode 3 comic.

The motherfucker appeared like he was using some Jedi teleportation shit.

He stood there..

and stared.

and stared

he moved a little too close


I looked over and tried to be polite.

“did you see the movie?” I asked

He said “I hated it! The Jedi would have never been taken out so easily. They would have felt a disturbance in the force and known that something was wrong and kicked those clone troopers asses!”

Long pause as we both searched for what to say next.

He drew first

“I want to kill that fucking Anakin guy. He really is a piece of shit”

So much for first impressions.

My first instinct was to go classic trilogy on his ass and give him a Wampa slap upside his big cranium. Or better yet stick a thermal detonator in his mouth and sarcastically yell…

“May the force be with you Biatch”!

as I bolt for the door. (fire errupts behind me as I leap at the camera!!!WHOOHOO it's Die Hard in a comic store.)


but I put my geek in check and bee lined for the door.


The next time I came to the store I picked up some random comics. This and that...

I don't do monthlies.

As he rang me up he says “I can’t tell what you are going to buy and that concerns me” as he gave me this annoyed look.

I was like ..unless you are moonlighting for the psychic network…what makes you think you can guess my personal comic preferences?

He is notorious amongst my coworkers. His shop is often reffered to as “That asshole guy’s store”

So today I was going to lunch with Gerimi and we decided to pop in and check out the latest issues.

So I come in and he says “good to see you again”..

I was like ok. Maybe the guy is cleaning up his act.

I spotted a graphic novel that was shrink wrapped. I like the artist who drew it.

It’s a 25 buck item.

No way is this kid going to buy a $25 buck comicbook site unseen.

I asked if he had an open copy.

He said “no.”

He said “the art is the same as the cover.”

I said I was interested in buying it but that I would like to see the inside before I buy it.

He proceeded to tell me that it was” a hardcover and that the pages would not fall out.”

Long pause…

I vowed never to return.

As I walked out of the store I noticed something in the corner of my eye.

He had some of my comics for sale.






I guess he’s not all bad.







KA-lifornia

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